Funny, But No Thank You #4

Revealed by Popular Demand: (some of) the "almosts" and "maybes" and "really?" from YourFunny*ness. (See sidebar on right.) More to come each Monday.

HAIR'S THE THING...

BIRDY BARFLIES

JUST KIDNEYING!

THE FUN COUPLE

PRESCHOOL PIRATE

Survey says...

The winner of this week's
Funny, But No Thank You voting is
"BOYS 2 MEN"

Congratulations!
GINNIE HOBBS
Elsmere, KY

Shameless Self-Promotion #9: Jill & Bella

Hi there! I'm Jill Williams and my darling rescue kitty is Bella. You should totally vote for us in this contest!

Bella the Beauty was rescued from a dump site back in July '07. When I met Bella last July, she was in a cage hoping to be a adopted by a loving family. She lucked out! I came along at the right moment and adopted her the day I met her.

After searching for a new companion for quite a few months, Bella exceeded my expectations on the day we met. Her scruffy, skinny body, matted fur and a lone snaggletooth may have deterred most people from giving her a second glance. But once I held her, I knew she would be my new roommate. Now she is spoiled, healthy and has more fur than I know what to do with.

Vote for THE sweetest snaggletooth around!

Real Cards! Real Soon!

We are so excited about your cards being printed, "cut," sorted into "gangs" and all of the other hocus pocus they do over in our card factories to translate our ideas into reality, that our little team took a trip to witness the action. We were not disappointed. So cool to see all your work out there in stacks and all gleaming and pretty. They look great. You people made some fine cards.

Look how many there are!! These puppies are being shipped and stocked all over the country in our Gold Crown Stores and lots of other ones, too. They are going to help make some happy birthdays out there, all over the place. Cool, right?

Seeing "behind the scenes" on the card production was like being on our own personal Mr. Rogers episode. Or some reality show about how they make stuff. Except for the fact that it actually was reality.

These are flats used by cool little fork lifts driven around the plant. The woman driving the one we saw was cruising. They didn't let us try it out for a spin. Something about safety codes.

Below is a glamour shot of the warehouse, where all the cards you created get stacked up and ready to ship...TO A STORE NEAR YOU BY MID-JUNE! Yippeee!!

Judgy
P.S. When is the next competition? Will there be a next competition? What will the next competition be about? Will I win the competition? These questions will all be answered in time. Pretty soon, even.
P.P.S. That's what I've been working on, in case you've missed me. I missed you. :)

YourPets Puzzlers: #3

Where are these from? Who'll guess first? Only you, dear bloggers, know.


1. Looks like this amazing cutie
just got back from a day of beauty.

2. When it comes to cute, this dog is it!
Huh? What's that? Speak up a bit.

3. Can't get enough
big puffy fluff.

Shameless Self-Promotion #8: Kathy & Hal

I think you should vote for me and my fabulous cat Hal Fishman... because my cat is a superstar.

I never expected the sick tiny kitten I found would turn out to be such a fixture in my life.

He follows me everywhere... into the shower... everywhere.

He has extra toes so he has very large feet and tends to be a bit clumsy, but I wouldn't want him any other way.

He makes me laugh on a daily basis and I am so lucky to have found him.

Funny, But No Thank You #3

Revealed by Popular Demand: (some of) the "almosts" and "maybes" and "really?" from YourFunny*ness. (See sidebar on right.) More to come each Monday, for quite a while.

BOYS 2 MEN

DIAPER DAZE

DOGGY DRESSUP

PUPPETMASTER

YOU DIRTY DOG

Survey says...

The winner of this week's

"Funny, But No Thank You" voting is:

JANET DUPRAS
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Shameless Self-Promotion #7: Sandy & Brittany

Hi! My name is Sandy Boucher and I am the proud Mama of Brittany Boucher.

She really is as sweet as she looks! She is the baby of the family with an older poodle "sister" and poodle "brother". Brittany turned 5 on April 22nd and it would be a great belated birthday present to get some extra votes!

Brittany gives "kisses" to everyone....including her dog groomer and vet! Brittany is not a morning girl though! She is the last one out of bed every morning and the first one in bed at night!

Her favorite game is throw the puppy biscuit off the couch and watch my Mama pick it up.

To know Brittany is to love her!!

YourPets Puzzlers: #2

1. Here's a hint for hunting eyes:
Coneheads come in every size.

2. Try this puzzler, if you dare.
Who looks good in fur-mal wear?

3. Ooh. This puzzler's kinda blurry.
Your clue? Two words: "Frosting's furry."

Shameless Self-Promotion #6: Michelle & Zoe

Hi, I'm Michelle Trout.

I have the most spoiled adorable kitty. Her name is Miss Princess Zoe (really that's what she's registered as) and she knows it, so does our 75 lb dog.

Zoe is princess of the house, if she throws a meowing fit for something (like canned cat food) she usually gets it, she even sleeps on the dogs bed! And he does nothing about it.

Last month though, she was a completely diff cat for half the month, she had a kidney taken out and it took her a while to get back to herself. She's doing great now, thankfully because we wouldn't know what to do without her. Since we have had her, she turned my fiancé into a total cat person!

So please vote for us everyday. Zoe and I would greatly appreciate it! Her Majesty thanks you is advance ;)

Shameless Self-Promotion #5: Amanda & Jack

Hi! My name is Amanda Dunbar and you should vote for me and my dog Jack!

Jack is a 12 pound pomeranian who's a lovable bundle of fur! His favorite past times are going to the park to lay under a tree, chasing after squirrels and peeing on mom's area rug.

He doesn't really love to dress up but this picture is from Halloween. Jack was about 1 of 6 hot dogs at the park that day.

Anyway, thanks again for voting for us and don't forget to stop by daily!

Survey says...

The winner of this week's
"Funny, But No Thank You" voting is:
DIANE BOGARDUS

Liverpool, NY

Shameless Self-Promotion #4: Melissa, Chewie & Newie

Hi, I'm Melissa and these are my exceptional chinchillas, Chewie and Newie. You should vote for our card because it's unique! How many chinchillas have you ever seen on a Hallmark card? We also put a lot of hard work into this photo. Take a closer look - the entire scene was meticulously set up for maximum birthday cheer! Chewie and Newie sat through over 80 shots before we got it perfect. They're so exceptional because not many chinchillas would tolerate sitting still and wearing hats for that long! Please help make chinchilla cards instead of chinchilla coats. Vote everyday!

YourPets Puzzlers: #1

What's a Pet Puzzler?

Possibly the best game on the whole Internet.

What deep, dark secrets are hiding in the finalist's photos?
Wouldn't you like to know.

Does the fun never stop around here?

No. No, it doesn't.

Here's the first few... good luck!

Here's a clue for Number 1:

Hop to it for some puzzler fun.

Try Number 2 now, Don't be dim.

(Anybody for a swim?)

The third one's really tricky. Yipes!

Who looks svelt in slimming stripes?

Okay! Get busy, pet detectives! Find those snippets in our finalists' photos. And check back here next week for the solutions. (And please, when you find them, keep the answers to yourselves so everyone can play.)

Funny, But No Thank You...#1

Revealed by Popular Demand: (some of) the "almosts" and "maybes" and "really?" from YourFunny*ness (at random and without comment). (See sidebar on right.) More to come each Monday, for quite a while.

Enjoy.

Shameless Self-Promotion #3: Julie & Lila

Tired and bored of the political forum? Had enough of campaign promises? Now there is a new candidate on the block who wants your votes and this election is way more fun!

I’m Julie and my puppy’s name is Lila. She would love to nab your votes just like she steals the cat food (which, by the way makes her a “Big Stinker” in more ways than one, if you get my drift!)

She promises to share with the local SPCA chapter if she wins the new mini-contest. Now get out there and vote for Lila and me!

Shameless Self-Promotion #2: Pati & Rufus

Hi, I'm RUFUS, and I'm a happy, happy dog!
I was rescued from the pound and now I'm living a dog's life.
I eat, play, eat, sleep, eat, ride, eat, sleep. I have a dog pal and a cat buddy.
And the girls in the bank just LOVE me!
I howl like crazy at sirens, especially amusing to nearby drivers, when I'm sitting in the truck in traffic.
I do what I can.
I also tip over like a fainting goat, when my owners walk by. Anything for attention.
How about a vote for me?! (I'd vote for YOU!)

Shameless Self-Promotion #1: Ashley & Rudy

I am Ashley Howe and our family dog is Rudy! You never have to wonder what Rudy is feeling! You can tell by his cartoon face!

He has a salty, wrinkly happy face, his scared face, his "I am going to kick some butt face", and his "are you sad Mom" face!

Other favorite faces are his "I am not getting up yet" and his "Are you done dressing me up for Hallmark Birthday cards" face! (See Happy Birthday Sunshine to vote!)

Living with Rudy is like living with a cartoon character! Vote for our favorite character today!

More fun? Are we kidding you?

No. We take our fun seriously around here. And that is why we are, in fact, kicking off the summertime trifecta of fun!

1. "Shameless Self-Promotion!" We've invited all the YourPets finalists to contribute blogs explaining why they deserve to win this competition. Sixteen guest bloggers took the bait, and their stories range from funny to quirky to absolutely heartwarming.

You'll look at these pets a little differently when you hear their special stories. Wonder if some new frontrunners will emerge?

Here's how we decided who's on first...and second... and third...etc.

2. "Funny, But No Thank You!" You asked for it, we listened, you got it. Several bloggers have asked to see the cards that didn't quite make the finalist cut. We aim to please, so we'll be posting five non-winning entries every Monday. Vote for the best. Wince at the rest. (We'll announce these voting results every Friday.)

Note to those featured in Funny, But No Thank You: It's a badge of honor around here to have an idea deemed Funny, But No. (See Judgy's April 30 post for a brief history of this beloved tradition and a link to the Shoebox blog,) It's just for fun, and you know we love you all. These, too, will be selected completely at random so it's the luck of the draw on the 5 we show each week.

3. "Pet Puzzlers!" To reward our loyal voting public, and to attract more citizens to our lively community, we're adding a weekly game to our site. Every Wednesday, we'll post three or four images. Your job: Study the images and find the pet finalist photos they belong to.

Difficulty will range from "well, duh" to "curse you, LoneExWhy!" (He's the lovable tormentor creating the puzzles.)

We'll post the answers in the blog's Comments section on the Tuesday after each puzzle appears. (So when you figure it out, please keep it to yourselves. Or else it will be like opening the Highlights magazine in the doctor's office and seeing that someone has circled all the hidden pictures, Grrr!)

Humor is subjective. You know it. We know it. What makes Polly pee in her pants laughing may do nothing for Penelope.

Shoebox has its own humor thing going and even the Shoebox writers and illustrators have stacks (drawers) of not-so-quites and no-ways. And apparently our pastime of laughing at ourselves is shared by others out there -- others who enjoy laughing at what we made that never made it into a card.

Actually, only about 20% of what gets turned in gets accepted and becomes a Shoebox card. On the Shoebox blog, they feature the other 80%.

Go check out some of the funny going on over there. You might get a chuckle. Or two.

Oh and they've even made a couple of videos celebrating that other 80%. Check it: Funny, But No #1,  Valentine's Day, St. Pat's, and even Christmas.

Stinkers of the World, Unite!

A fun, new mini-contest's here--
these critters need your votes!
What stinker hearts are beating
'neath the feathers and fur coats?

Do we see a bit of mischief
in that pooch's twinkly gaze?
Will that birdie ruffle feathers
as it squawks and talks and plays?

A horse, of course, can show
a bit of feisty spunk and spirit.
And pigs and cats with attitude
will really let you hear it.

Hamsters look so innocent,
but they're stinkers while we snooze,
And the antics of somebunnies
make the Stinker Daily News.

So look through all the finalists--
Which one will get the cash?
We'll find a stinker champion…
Or my name's not Blogden Nash.

Awwww, Lila. Thanks.

Lila wants to thank Hallmark for her check and finalist flat. She already has the flat framed and ready to hang! Thanks so much to all of you for creating such fun!"Julie Beierschmitt
Enid, OK

P.S. from Judgy: If any other critters want to pose with their prizes and share, we'd sure enjoy seeing them. Also, has anyone else framed their flat? We were hoping that would be something you'd all enjoy. (And we are tickled that Lila did!)

P.P.S. Funny*ness Finalsits: You, too, will be receiving your very own, one-of-a-kind flats of your cards. Sit tight. We only have so many elves working on this. :)

Runners-Up Gallery

Didja see the brand spankin' new gallery of Funny*ness runners-up? Didja? Didja?

http://www.hallmarkcontests.com/funnyvote/index.cfm?step=runnerup

Funny, huh? Boy, oh boy, what a tough job those judges had!

Which runner-up tickles your funny bone??

Mini Contest Winner and...

Nancy and Jasmine sitting in a tree,

W- I - N - N - I - N - G!

Next Monday come back and see
Who the biggest stinker should be.

avatar, here we are.

thanks to my little elf, i now have an avatar. looks just like me.

thanks, little elf.

in other news, any day now, expect to see some more funny on the site. alternate funny. funny that almost-nearly-just-about-made-it-to-the-top-18 pool of funny.

p.s. also, we are wanting to give you hints about the next contest, but we are not allowed to yet. (partly because we are still figuring bits of it out.)

One Dedicated Finalist

Thought you all might find this as charming as we did: In order to solidify their spot as a finalist, one of our finalists-to-be needed to get a release for a picture they took. No big deal, right? Wrong.

They took said picture a few YEARS ago, on vacation, at random, about three hours away from their house.

So, when our contest administrator called them and told them they needed the release signed within three days to qualify, this scrappy finalist found a way to hop in their car, drive the 3 hours and hunt down the person from whom they needed the release. True story. But it's not over yet.

The person from whom they needed a release could only be reached through a non-English speaker, by the English speaking finalist. So confusion (and a little mayhem) ensued until the (English speaking) release signer could be located.

Whew. And located they were. And a finalist they are.

That, my friends, is dedication. Right on, I say. Right on.

Best of luck to ALL the finalists - in both competitions. Looking forward to seeing all your smiling faces in our Hallmark stores all summer!! :)

Something Funny?

Okay, friends. Judgy is back in the house. And the house smells a little funny. Let's talk.

Remember the "hanging chads"? Or the zillion other voting dilemmas we have seen in politics and pop culture over the years? I sure do. And now I get how difficult it is to make sure everyone plays nice more than I ever did before.

Here's the thing, we are a small team within Hallmark (small but mighty, we like to think) working on these competitions. We are crazy passionate about them and about enabling all of you to get your creative voices heard and seen on greeting cards. Seriously. It's true: We love making cards and we absolutely love that YOU love to make them, too.

No one wants the bad kind of funniness going on in our voting. And believe me, it is taking some time, but we are ferreting out any bad funny to make sure only the solid, legit, we-love-to-play-nice votes stay in the running. It is our belief that this will be solved in the next few days and that you will see some changes in the current rankings of the finalists as a result.

Please be patient and give us some time on this. We're working hard (really really hard) to make sure everything is right. But it does take time and like I say, we are a small (but mighty) team.

Oh and just so you know, part of the judging process has always been (and will continue to be) that the judges do not see the names of any of the contestants until their card ideas are chosen as finalists. This means that if anyone was chosen twice, it was because their idea(s) were solid, "sendable," theme-appropriate greetings that all the judges agreed was tops. ("Sendable" is tricky. There were ones that had us peeing in our pants, they were so funny. But not necessarily something more than a few people would send, which in Shoebox parlance is called "funny, but no.") (See their blog for examples.)

Lastly, we also like the idea of showing the alternates and runner-ups. We're looking into the best way we might do it. We'll get back to you on that. Soon.

Okay. Go vote with confidence: Look for your kind of funny (and your favorite pet card). And make that funny (and that pet) win.

The new finalists are here! The new finalists are here!

Photos, illustrations, collages, lettering…and (oh my sides) really great jokes. These people did it all. And they did it all funny-like.

To paraphrase a certain reality show judge, "Check it out, check it out, dawg. These cards are hot." Check it, y’all. Pick your favorites. Get to know these folks and their fantastic work. And start voting!

In the days/weeks ahead, you'll be seeing guest blogs written by the finalists in our contests - we'll give it a go with Pets first. YOU'LL get a peek into their creative processes (please knock first) and THEY'LL get a chance to beg for votes, um, I mean introduce themselves a bit and promote their work!

Check back every day to vote and look around. We keep getting new ideas (many inspired by you and the rockin' feeback you're providing right here on this here blog) and so far nobody's telling us we can't do them so keep 'em comin'! We've got something special up our sleeves for the alternates so be sure to come back and check that out.

Congratulations to the finalists and alternates and to every one of you who had the spunk to bring the funny!

Blogden Nash

Judging the Funny

Okay, dear funny-makers. I am happy to report that the 18 finalists have...been...chosen.

Here is the wall of the top 50 and the open spots for the 18 finalists. We are very fancy.

On the final finalist judging day, we - funny experts of funniness at Hallmark + our celebrity judges - reviewed the top 50 and each created our own personal dream 18.

None of our groups matched. We all had different ideas of what is funny. Only ONE card idea was picked by everybody. Funny is like that...funny.

So, to fill those 18 spots, we had to duke it out. Convince each other. Trick each other. Bribe each other. (Kidding. There was no funny business.) (I mean, of course there was funny business, but only in the most literal sense.)

If you are one of the finalists, or one of the alternates, we congratulate you. And salute you. And want to give you props for bringing the funny.

If you were not selected this time around, do not dismay. There will be other competitions. And other chances to be funny. (You could be funny right now!)

All will be revealed on Monday. So, hang tight, keep rhyming and goofing around here or wherever you like to do that sort of thing. You all are cracking us up.

Voting Matters

Well, we’ve been sniffing away, and, unfortunately, we’ve found some funny stuff. Our legal minds are telling us we can’t be too detailed, but we have tied specific activity to specific people voting and we are very disappointed. And, we have taken action.

Once again, we will be removing any duplicative (see, told you we had to get our legal folks involved) votes that appear to violate the one vote per person per day rule.

As you can imagine, we are passionate about the integrity of this contest. If this final warning is not heeded, we will take much stronger action. So….consider yourselves warned and in the interest of fairness (not to mention Karma), remember: one vote, per person, per day. This means no multiple email accounts (ie home, work, newly created, your pet... etc.).

Ok, phew, that's enough on that. Let's get back to the fun stuff. Who's going to come up with the next poem? Here's a topic... Guess the celebrity judges for YourFunny*ness! (And no, it doesn't HAVE to be a poem!)

Prize Packet Pyramid

Once all of the YourPets finalist packets were finally assembled, Edison did a final inspection.

Everything smelled right, so off they were sent.

Thanks, Edison.

A Poem Just for You

One, two, three judges I see.
You cannot know their identities.

Judging away most of the day,
But they don't have the final say.

It was hard work, yes it's true,
Narrowing down Funny*ness for you.

That was the start, sorting through art,
Next is the really fun part.

Finalists will be shown.
Some entrants may groan,
And even computers might be thrown.

But don't be sad, we'll soon be back
With another contest for you to attack.

Much Love,

Judgy's Little Elf
.

prize packets sent!

As part of the prize packet for the YourPets finalists, we are sending each person their own "flat" from the production work we did to turn their design into a real live card. We stamped them, signed them and sent them off to the Finalists with their prize money just the other day.

We think the flats are pretty fun to see. And really, are one-of-a-kind. Anyone in the country will be able to buy one of the Finalists' cards once they're printed, but only the Finalists themselves will have a copy of their pre-production flat.

If it were me who won, I'd frame it and smile each time I (or my pet) saw it. But then again, I'm a sucker for things like this.

Guess that's why I work here.

Judgy

Ranking the Funny

One "Bowling Alley". Three Judges. Lots and lots of funny card ideas.
The mission? Pick 50 ideas and rank them in order of funny.
It's a tough job, but hey...you're worth it.

Rats.

The contest is now closed.
You are late. We are sad.

Sit tight. Juding is starting.
Voting will be next.

And maybe a surprise or two.

(Hint hint - check out the Pets
page today.)

Have you shared your Funny yet? Hmmmmm???

Lately we're thinking a lot about "funny" and about how we know there are more of you out there who have a just-for-the-heck-uv-it hilarious card ideas out there.

(Did you funny people know that our deadline is THIS Sunday? Get cracking, procrastinators. The clock is ticking.) (Hear it?)

Go. Now. Inject some of your own brand of funniness into this world.

You know it'd be fun to share your funny. Think about it.

Judgy

Funny or No?

So, we judges have started digging in to your submissions and are *usually* laughing when we should. The humor nut is a tough one to crack, that's for sure (ask any of our veteran Shoebox writers or artists who have their own personal, very large collections of "no's"). (Actually, they did a whole chapter on that in their book last year and go on and on about it on their blog.)

And serious about humor though we may be, there was at least once when we couldn't help but lose it because of your funnyness. Hilarious. Thank you.

If you have been waiting until the last minute to submit your funny, just remember to restrict that funny to "just for fun" card ideas -- that means no birthdays and no holidays, just a joke ready to send in a card for a laugh.

You've just got until the end of this week, until SUNDAY night 11:59 CST to be exact, to submit YourFunny*ness to us.

Enjoy the funny. Be the funny. Live the funny.

(Good luck! We hope you win.)

Flats & Funny

How does a finalist card idea become a real card in the store? Anyone curious?

Before we even think of sending anything to print, everything we create must go through rounds of proofreading and be put into a fancy computer design program that makes sure it'll all look good once the ink hits the paper at our factory.

What you see over there on the right is a "flat"... all of the YourPets finalist designs should be through this process by the end of the day today, ready to be shipped off to print!

Speaking of printing, if YOU want an idea of yours to be printed (with your face and story on the back) (and sold in stores all around the country), join in the YourFunny*ness competition. (Funny Cards sent for no reason - just to make someone laugh.)

There are only nine days left! Have a funny photo? A funny drawing? A funny joke you can make into a card? (My mom was on one years ago and I can tell you that it was a big deal for her, for me and for everyone we know.)

Hurry up and GET FUNNY. (It's fun to be funny.) (And good for you, too.)

Are you smarter than a YourPets Blogger?

Try your brain at these trivia questions and see.

1. Photos of how many different species were entered in the contest?
a) 10 b) 12 c) 16 d) 20

Correct answer: a. While there were only ten different species, you all get diversity points for the bizarre breeds and hybrids!


2. Which one of these non-dog and non-cat species was NOT entered in the contest?
___Rabbit
___Turtle
___Horse
___Pig
___Hamster
___Boa Constrictor
___Chinchilla
___Guinea Pig
___Parrot

Correct answer: Boa constrictor. Though we hear they can be verrry snuggly. (All those other critters came to play!)


3. What is the age of our most senior human contender?
a) 74 years old b) 85 years old c) 93 years old d) 101 years old

Correct answer: c. Props to her! She rocks!


4. Why aren't there any monkey cards?

Correct answer: You tell us. We don't know.


5. Which of these farm animals is among the finalists?
a) Rooster b) Pig c) Lamb d) Llama

Correct answer: b. And oinks for playing!

Blogden Nash